Divorce as an Opportunity for “Post-traumatic Growth”

The theory of post-traumatic growth is receiving a lot of attention lately. Its premise is that individuals can do more than cope and move past trauma, crisis or adversity, but that these challenging experiences can actually provide a catalyst for positive personal growth and finding new meaning in one’s life. To be clear, post-traumatic growth is not about erasing suffering or grief, it is about the growth that can follow these difficult experiences. 

Recent studies have looked at post-traumatic growth across a variety of populations that have suffered significant trauma including people with life-threatening illnesses, combat veterans and survivors of accidents and violence. These studies have identified five areas of growth:   

• New perspective on life, new opportunities – people can experience a change in priorities

• Increased intimacy in certain relationships and increased empathy for other’s suffering – awareness of our own vulnerability allows us to feel connected to other people

• Finding strength within oneself –  one can feel more competent or self-reliant

• Greater appreciation for life – gratitude for relationships and for one’s life

• Spiritual growth – emerging or strengthening of spiritual beliefs

For many people, divorce certainly falls into the category of adversity and can trigger feelings of crisis and despair. However, it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth and renewal. You can help this process by paying attention to any new growth or change you observe within yourself.  Ask yourself questions and consider journaling about your experience.

• Are there any relationships where I feel more connected since this experience? Do I see others suffering with more empathy now?

• How do I see the world now? Is it different? Are there opportunities that have emerged from this experience? Do I see my purpose differently now?

• Did my own strength surprise me? What did I learn about my internal resources from this suffering?

 Certainly no one wishes adversity on others, but if you find yourself coping with a trauma or significant adversity, it can be powerful to know that meaningful growth has come out of it. 

The theory of post-traumatic growth is receiving a lot of attention lately. Its premise is that individuals can do more than cope and move past trauma, crisis or adversity, but that these challenging experiences can actually provide a catalyst for positive personal growth and finding new meaning in one’s life. To be clear, post-traumatic growth is not about erasing suffering or grief, it is about the growth that can follow these difficult experiences. 

Recent studies have looked at post-traumatic growth across a variety of populations that have suffered significant trauma including people with life-threatening illnesses, combat veterans and survivors of accidents and violence. These studies have identified five areas of growth:   

• New perspective on life, new opportunities – people can experience a change in priorities

• Increased intimacy in certain relationships and increased empathy for other’s suffering – awareness of our own vulnerability allows us to feel connected to other people

• Finding strength within oneself –  one can feel more competent or self-reliant

• Greater appreciation for life – gratitude for relationships and for one’s life

• Spiritual growth – emerging or strengthening of spiritual beliefs

For many people, divorce certainly falls into the category of adversity and can trigger feelings of crisis and despair. However, it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth and renewal. You can help this process by paying attention to any new growth or change you observe within yourself.  Ask yourself questions and consider journaling about your experience.

• Are there any relationships where I feel more connected since this experience? Do I see others suffering with more empathy now?

• How do I see the world now? Is it different? Are there opportunities that have emerged from this experience? Do I see my purpose differently now?

• Did my own strength surprise me? What did I learn about my internal resources from this suffering?

 Certainly no one wishes adversity on others, but if you find yourself coping with a trauma or significant adversity, it can be powerful to know that meaningful growth has come out of it.