Healing from a divorce takes time, but time alone will not be enough. You also have to actively care for yourself in order to truly heal. I often talk about self-care as a component of my blog and this post will look at caring for yourself using both internal and external resources.

  • Physical: Physically caring for yourself means getting enough sleep, eating healthy and exercising. These are all things that keep you physically healthy and set the foundation for emotional health. No one is able to cope with difficult situations when they are physically exhausted!
  • Social: Healing from divorce can often feel like a lonely experience. It is important to identify friends and family members who can support you without judging you. In addition, these need to be people who have your long-term best interests in mind. What does that look like? Instead of saying, “He’s a jerk and you need to take him to the cleaners in this divorce”, it is acknowledging your pain and sadness without turning your ex into a scapegoat.
  • Emotional: Emotional healing involves mourning the loss of the relationship and acknowledging your range of feelings. Instead of pouring a glass of wine or eating a brownie, sit with your feelings and learn from them. If it helps, use a journal as a way to contain your thoughts and feelings over time. (Occasional wine and brownies are fine.)
  • Spiritual: If spirituality is part of your life, this can be a very nourishing resource during difficult times. Whether it is a church community or a more individual exploration of your spirituality, thinking about a world beyond yourself can be very grounding. 
  • Professional: Many people choose to access professional resources during or after a divorce. This could include individual or group therapy or even a support group. Unfortunately, too many people feel embarrassed and don’t take advantage of professional resources. It is actually a sign of strength to reach out and get the help you need. 

Look at all the resources that are available to you during this stressful time in your life. The better you are able to access support, the more you will be able to heal and move forward in your life.